“Are you going to order dessert?”

“I wish I could Kelly, but I’m trying to lose three more pounds.”

“You’ve lost enough weight.”

“I still think my butt is too big.  Just 3 more pounds.”

“Look, Petunia, here is the cold hard truth about being a woman over 45.  If you lose those last 3 pounds, you may be happy with your ass, but your face is going to look old and gaunt.  Then you are going to have to get $700 worth of fillers injected into your face in order to look like yourself again.  So you have to make a decision.  Gaunt face or chubby ass.  You’re going to have to choose one.”

“Its a cruel, cruel world, Kelly.”

“Don’t I know it.  But look at the bright side.  I just saved you $700 and now you can split a dessert with me.”

Categories: Friends & Relationships, Observations