Nothing is Sacred

“So, Michael, how are things going with your daughters?”

“I’m not sure I’m going to survive and they aren’t even teenagers yet.”

“Yes, raising daughters is not for the weak.  But its important that you keep the lines of communication open, you know?”

“I know, I tried that.  I want to make sure they know I’m here for them, especially since their mom and I divorced.  So I sat them down and told them they could ask me anything.  Anything.”

“Lord, that was your first mistake.”

“Yes, well, they started whispering to each other and then they left the room.”

“I bet I know exactly what happened, Michael.”

“What do you think happened?”

“They came down holding your stash of condoms.”

“OH MY LORD, that is EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED!!  How did you know?”

“Because nothing is sacred to a young girl, Michael, especially when it comes to her newly single, actively dating father.  Nothing.  Any illusion you have of privacy needs to be taken off the table right now.  You have no privacy.  They have gone through every single drawer in every single room in your house, and twice in your bedroom.”

“Oh my goodness, what do I do now?”

“Don’t kid yourself.  If you want to keep anything a secret, you need to lock it up in a strong box and carry the only key on a chain around your neck. ”

“I never realized girls would be like this.”

“Are you kidding me?  Wait until they get older, it only gets worse.  You’re doomed.  I have another divorced guy friend trying to raise his 17 year old daughter and he says its just like getting a colonoscopy every day.”

“I’m not sure I’m going to survive.”

“I’m giving it 50/50 at this point, I’ll let you know if that changes.”

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Categories: Family, Observations, The Unexpected, Work

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