I’m being stalked by my cat, who thinks she is a dog. She hides these twisty ties around the house and then brings them to me and begs to play fetch. I have to throw it and she runs after it and then brings it back for me to do it again. And again. And again. Sometimes I get so annoyed that I pretend to throw it and she goes running off and spends about 30 minutes looking for the twisty that I have hidden in my back pocket. I feel kind of guilty when I do that, so I don’t make eye contact with her for a while afterwards. But once in a while I’m pretty sure she figures out that I have stolen her twisty because I will find a small piece of poo on my bed, neatly placed on my pillow.