A Love Letter to My Husband

By Kelly Harman on February 11, 2012 • ( 4 )

Dear Bob,

In the chick flicks I watch with my girlfriends, the guy is always doing romantic stuff to the girl. Sending flowers, writing poems, scattering rose petals and whispering sweet nothings into her ear. And some of my friends will sigh and wish their husbands were half as romantic. Not me.

Just so you know, I love you because you buy in bulk. During our 21 years of marriage, I have not ever had to look for batteries, light bulbs, tissue, toilet paper, paper towels or stamps. They magically seem to repopulate in our home.

Now you travel to Syracuse every week, and live in a hotel Monday through Friday. And you refuse to go to Costco on the weekends because that is when people tend to shop with all 13 members of their family. All of whom want to stop and sample every tasting station while walking four across down every aisle. And I can’t say I blame you.

However, as a result of this new life style, I am currently out of light bulbs, I cannot mail anything because I can’t find the stamps and I don’t remember where we keep the extra paper towels. The laundry soap container is empty so I’ve worn the same clothes for three days. I used the last garbage bag four days ago and I keep stuffing trash into the already overflowing container because I don’t have time to go to the store.

I have not watched television all week because I cannot find my far away glasses. I put them somewhere in the house and you are not here to tell me where you saw them. Not that it matters because I still cannot figure out how to use the remote control for the TV.

Apparently the recycle and trash people come on Tuesday night, not Wednesday night. I have learned this the hard way. And I accidentally left my head lights on overnight again and the car battery is dead so I am home bound because I’m afraid to do that spark plug jump start thing with the machine that has the big pincher grabbers that you do for me every other month or so when this accidentally happens. I know I will get thrown across the garage if I try to do this myself.

I am glad you will be coming home tomorrow, because I think Sadie is depressed. I know she’s just a cat but I think she misses you. We have not had bad kitty time for two weeks and she just mopes around the house. She doesn’t even chew my hair any more. You should probably pay extra attention to her this weekend, especially since football season is finally over.

Love

Kelly