Furniture is Evil

“Bob, I backed into a truck today.”

“Good grief, Kelly.  How did that happen?”

“I was leaving Greenfront Furniture after trying to find a new couch for the family room.  And I backed into the truck by mistake.”

“Don’t you have one of those rear-view cameras in the dashboard, where you can see what is behind you?”

“Yes, Bob.”

“And two side mirrors plus a rear view mirror?”

“Bob, is this really relevant?  I hit the stupid truck, okay?”


“Why?? Why??? Because I frigging HATE shopping for furniture.  Do you know how many sofas there are in Greenfront?  Do you know how many stupid upholstery options you have for each one of those stupid couches??  Making the wrong decision is not a cheap mistake with this stuff Bob!  It’s overwhelming.  I was simply overwhelmed.  My brain shut down.”

“So you rammed a truck instead?”

“NO!  I just didn’t see it, that’s all.”

“What kind of truck?”

“A Silverado something or other.”

“Good grief, Kelly.  Do you know how big those trucks are?”

“I’m sorry I even told you.”

“Were you hurt?”

“Only my pride when I had to go back into the store and admit to the 13 furniture salespeople hovering around like vultures at the front desk that I hit a truck.  We paged for the driver three times and I finally left a note under the windshield.  Now I’m going to go call Erie Insurance and confess.”

“Maybe you can get that side door dent fixed when you get the bumper fixed.  And the scrape on the other side.”

“Are you trying to infer something here, Bob?”

“Noooooo, not at all…”



Categories: Observations

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