Running Late

Two hours before my flight departs:

“Do you have any questions about this project? I have a flight that leaves in 2 hours and I still have a 45-minute drive to the airport. And you know there’s going to be some idiot in the security line that thinks the TSA guard screaming, ‘Take off your shoes, pull out your liquids and laptops, and remove everything from your pockets’” means everyone but him. And then I have to stand in that X-ray machine and hold my stomach in so they think I’m 10 pounds lighter. Thank God they make you raise your arms over your head. My boobs look 20 years younger when I have to do that.”

“I’m good, Kelly. I just have a couple more quick questions.”

“Fine, but I have to pack up my laptop while you’re talking . I CANNOT miss this flight.”

“No problem. I just need to know if…..”

(This is where the caller begins to ask approximately 143 questions just to make sure there is nothing overlooked.)

“Oh my God, you’re killing me. I’ve got to go. I’ll have to call you back when I get through security in the airport.”

“Okay fine, Kelly. But don’t forget to call me, this is important.”

“I won’t, I swear. Oh crap, I can’t find my car keys.”

“Oh oh.”

“Wait, I found them. Oh crap, where is my power cord!!!!”

“Maybe I should go.”

“No, you’re the reason I’m running late, dammit. I CANNOT miss this flight. CRAP WHERE IS MY CELL PHONE!!!!!!!”

“Uh, Kelly?”

“WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!!!”

“Aren’t you talking to me on your cell phone?”

“Sonofabitch.”

“Hee hee”

“If you ever tell anyone about this I’m going to fire you.”

“Snort.

“Sonofabitch.”

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Categories: Observations

2 replies

  1. You are writing a book, right?

    • The idea of writing a book is a bit daunting. So right now I’m writing my stories and putting them on the blog. And if I just tell myself I write stories for my blog, there isn’t much pressure. I’m hoping that eventually I will have enough stories that I could gather them up and put them in a book and maybe someone would want to publish them. So if you meet any publishers, please use your magical seductive powers to get them to read my blog. I know you Karen, you can get anyone to do anything.

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