“Grandma, I have to poop!” “Well, let’s go to the bathroom.” “Grandma, you can’t stay in here. I need my PRIVACY!!!” “Oh, well, what if I turn around and don’t look?” “NO GRANDMA, I CAN DO THIS MYSELF, I NEED… Read More ›
The Unexpected
Potty training is not for sissies
“Where’s her diaper bag?” I asked my son as he was dropping off my granddaughter. “Amie is potty trained, she doesn’t need a diaper bag any more,” he replied. Amie promptly pulled down her pants to show me her big… Read More ›
Saved by Stu
Starving for lunch, I rush through security at the airport and stop at the bar to order a sandwich to go. Suddenly lights begin to flash, alarms begin to ring and a voice blares through the airport, “There has been… Read More ›
Drama in the ER
I have a theory that the only reason married men stay alive is because their wives force them to eat healthy, exercise and visit the doctor when something appears to be wrong. A perfect example is my husband Bob, who… Read More ›
Wax kit for sale – cheap.
Well, I just tried to give myself my first bikini wax. I am now covered in pink sticky wax. It is everywhere – my desk, my hands, the microwave, my underwear, my leg, my pants, the garbage can and quite… Read More ›
The Story of My Thanksgiving
By popular demand, I am publishing the letter I sent to my friends the day after Thanksgiving: The joke each Thanksgiving is that I assign a dish to everyone in the family except my bachelor brother, who is in charge… Read More ›
The Joys of Travel
I don’t care if I did get upgraded to a suite. It is still a Courtyard Marriott and the guy in the room next door is snoring like nobody’s business. At 1 a.m. I finally snapped, called his room, yelled… Read More ›
A Dinner Party
“Bob, we’re having a dinner party tomorrow night.” “You never said anything about a dinner party.” “Yes, I did. I’ve told you about four times already.” “Who’s coming?” “Ann, Marcie, Pat, Maggie, Denise and the other Anne.” “What, no men? … Read More ›
Great Balls of Fire
If you’ve been married for longer than six and a half minutes then you’ve had a fight with your spouse that seemed extremely horrible at the time but three months later you can’t even remember why you were angry. This… Read More ›
My Cat’s Butt
My cat’s butt exploded today. I know this because she waited until I woke up this morning to leap up into the bed and push her back end right in front of my face. Let me tell you, in the… Read More ›
Did I say that out loud? 