“Bob, do you remember when I bought my Lexus RS430 Convertible?”

“Kelly, it was a Lexus SC 430, not RS 430.”

“Whatever.  Do you remember when I bought it?”

“Yes.  I also remember that you bought it because I told you not to buy it.”

“Don’t be bitter, Bob.  I was just remembering what it felt like the first time I actually drove that car.”

“What did it feel like?”

“Well, since I was used to a Honda Civic with 4 gerbils under the hood, I couldn’t get over the power of the car.  I drove it down the toll road and floored the gas pedal and I felt myself slam back into the leather seat.  It was incredible.”

“You are NEVER supposed to do that to a new car, Kelly!”

“Well it didn’t break or anything, so don’t worry about it.  I just remember having the top down and the wind rushing past me and being buried in that soft buttery leather seat.  The first thing that came to my head was, ‘This must be what it’s like to have a penis.”

“If that is what you thought, then why did you name her Barbarella?”

“Because I liked the name, Bob.”

“Well, I can tell you, owning that car was not like having a penis.”

“Then what is like having a penis?”

“Standing when you pee, Kelly.  That is what its like to have a penis.”

“Well, just give me time, I’ll figure that one out too.”

Categories: Goals, Observations